... More like, beware the extremists!
Fade out to scenario...
I got into the strangest discussion the other day. I, a long-haired, barefooted, beach-dwelling dude, was strolling pleasantly along my white soft-sand beach with the wind in my hair. The gulls calling and gliding on the breeze, and the smell of salty air and coconut oil toasting in the sun gave me a warm, perfect feeling. When who did I encounter, but a rough Irish bloke wearing the largest pair of winter galoshes! He accosted me about my bare feet, saying where he came from the air is cold, and the angry Irish sea is violent as it crashes on the rough shore pebbles to slowly wear them smooth. He insisted we should all be wearing heavy rubber galoshes at all times to protect our feet, while I insisted we should all live in bare feet with no exceptions so we could enjoy the sand in our toes. We spent the rest of the day arguing over who was right.
Fade back to reality...
It might be evident from the scenario above that an argument may last a long time if we only reference our own perspective at the current moment and apply it to everyone else without considering their situation and perspective may be different from our own. In reading web articles and blogs regarding voluntary versus involuntary means of connecting children to parents while in public, this seems to occur unusually frequently. One group or company may claim a certain product or method is the silver bullet to solve all problems for all families at all times. Conversely, others argue vociferously against child tethers, harnesses and leashes altogether, deeming it unfit treatment for anyone at any time. Ironically, many of the same people strongly advocate for the use of involuntary strollers or carriers.
The point is that both sides should avoid absolutes and judgment. In the barefoot versus galoshes scenario above, one might agree that going barefoot may be fitting on a warm Carribean soft-sand beach. But the Irish sea argument holds water (excuse the pun) on its own home turf. And a third person would probably advocate for crampons if they just came off a glacier climb. The old quote 'different strokes for different folks' holds true here. Or, even with the same person, to paraphrase Ecclesiates, 'to everything there is a season, a time to every purpose'.
So it is with family connectors. The proper use of the proper tool or technique will depend on many things. It may depend on the individual make-up of a family, including the number of children and age range, the temperament and abilities of each child, and the needs and possibly special needs of each child. A family with an eight year old and a twelve year old may not need a child harness, nor a stroller, nor even a hand hold, in the proper setting. However, a family with three-year-old twins may need a lot more attention and help to keep up with the young crew. And a family with four or even eight will realize the adults don't have enough hands to hold onto everyone.
Likewise, different settings call for different measures. A family may not likely need strollers or harnesses in their church nursery, but they may want something to keep the children a little closer in a shopping mall, and closer still while crossing a busy street or parking lot. While sitting at a departure gate waiting for a flight, a child may not need anything but the parent in the next chair, but my guess is an extra pair of hands would be most useful to help manage things going through airport security checkpoints.
Speaking of airports and security, things will also differ based on the level of security in different geographic areas, settings, and times. It may be fine to escort a few children around a Pennsylvania farm on a non-harvest day. But my guess is that it would be somewhat harrowing to escort the same bunch through Times Square on New Year's Eve. The different levels of security would likely call for different methods of keeping contact. Likewise, a missionary family with six small children will be taking different precautions when they traverse the campus of the JAARS missionary training center in Waxhaw, NC, than when they pass through a third world city in an area known for abductions and human trafficking.
The end picture is that unlike our barefoot versus galoshes argument at the beginning of our article, we need to keep an open mind with respect to what will work for ourselves and other people, and anyone arguing absolutes should consider that other people may have different perspectives and situations than our own. Not all families have the same number of children with the same ages, temperaments and needs. Not all settings will require they same level of connection between family members. And certainly not all levels of security will require one single answer.
In my next article, I will attempt to explore and classify different types of involuntary child connectors (stay tuned, as you might be surprised by some on the list...).
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